“As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

John 9:1-3 ESV

https://bible.com/bible/59/jhn.9.1-3.ESV

I love the 9th chapter of the book of John. The whole chapter, I pray that you take the time to read it in its entirety.  One of the reasons why I love this story is because I have been healed both from physical blindness and spiritual blindness just as this man in the story had been. 

In 2018 I experienced a couple significant health crisis.  I can look back on those and realize that I was definitely being stretched in my faith  and a lot of growth happened because of them.  One such health issue that was happening was with my vision.  I had always had perfect vision, in fact it was better than perfect most of my life 20/15 I believe in both eyes.  But all of a sudden I started to feel as if there were a film on my eyes and bright lights and sunshine caused it to be worse.  I didn’t really think much about it because I was young, 43 years old to be exact.  I went to the eye doctor because I assumed it was time to get glasses especially to read.  I told the eye doctor that I thought I may have cataracts and he told me I was too young but he would check.  Sure enough I had cataracts, he also diagnosed me with something called drusen https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drusen, you can read more about here but essentially it is something that older people get and leads to macular degeneration  and eventually blindness.  

As I stated, I was already going through other health conditions at this time.  In fact, I was being treated for osteomyelitis from an ACL repair and was taking several rounds of powerful IV antibiotics.  Osteomyelitis is a bone infection https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osteomyelitis.  The hits kept coming.  Two years prior to this I completed my masters degree in addictions counseling and was working at a job I loved instilling hope to individuals in the midst of their despair.  I have shared in earlier posts about my substance addiction and this was where God had led me, to help people out of their hopelessness because He had shown me the way out.  If I were to go blind, I did not know how I was going to continue to be a therapist.  I use my eyes and all my senses to assess and empathize with my clients.  I sit with them in their pain, I look them in their eye and tell them that everything is going to be okay. I’m able to do this with authority because I have experienced so much of what my clients experienced.  I see them both literally and figuratively.  How was I going to continue this if I were blind.  These were the thoughts that started to go on repeat in my mind.  

2 Corinthians 2:5 says we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.  I had a decision to make.  I could be scared and anxious about what I was going to do and how I was going to do it, or I could trust God.  Trust him that if he brought me to this fork in the road, he would make a way out.  He would miraculously heal me, make a way for me to continue providing therapy or he would show me something else I was supposed to do.  So when those thoughts started to come, I simply stated, ‘I trust you’. And the peace that surpasses all understanding literally flooded over me (Philippians 4:7).  I had many doctor’s appointments that spring and summer between the osteomyelitis and the eye issue.  I did not, as it turns out have drusen.  the specialist stated that he did not really see any of the spots that the original eye doctor noticed.  He did say that I have cataracts but at that time the risk to remove them were greater than the risk that it was to have them.  My vision was bad, but I was able to make concessions and adaptations to continue with my work.  I was able to complete the rounds of antibiotic therapy for the osteomyelitis and was given an infection free report in early Fall of 2018.

Things changed at the end of 2020, my vision became so severe that It was like looking through a piece of computer paper in the right eye, I was officially legally blind in one eye and quickly becoming blind in my left.  Now, 2020 had many challenges but one of the benefits, (if you will call it that) was working from home.  I was doing most, if not all of my appointments virtually and I could see the clients’ faces better on the computer screen than I could in person.  I had also gotten better at picking up other cues from clients to assess their needs.  God is faithful and he will make a way where there seems to be no way (Isaiah 43:19). 

In April of 2021 I had my first cataract surgery in my right eye.  I remember waking up and opening my eyes and saying “I was blind but now I see!”.  I left the office that day, 2 hours after having surgery, with 20/30 vision in that eye with my surgeon telling me it will continue to improve over the next couple of days.  In June of 2021 I had the second eye done.  I did not have to wear glasses again until October 2021 but even still I do this mostly because of astigmatism that I have and they help tremendously with driving at night.  In fact, as I write this post, I am not wearing my glasses.  

What is the point of me sharing this?  There was no reason as to why I was diagnosed with cataracts at such a young age.  Every person in the medical field would ask me these same three questions when finding out I had cataracts.

1. Are you diabetic? The answer is: no

2. Have you had to be on a lot of steroids in your life? The answer is: I have been on                      one Medrol dose pack for a severe case of poison ivy with one cortisone injection for the 

    Same problem.  So no, not a significant amount that would cause them.

3.  Have you had significant eye trauma? The answer is: no

Nothing happened that should have ‘caused’ me to become almost blind.  But it has been used to glorify God and to help others.  By building my faith and trust in God, by seeing his faithfulness and the way he would work out my fears and how he would make a way where there seemed to be no way.  I have heard it said that “we live life forward but understand it backward”.  I am able to see how so many of the events that I have gone through in my life is to build my faith, trust and obedience.  I am so grateful that God does not require me to handle my shortcomings on my own, that he will provide a way of relief and he will finish what he started. 

Just like the man in John 9, God will be glorified in and through our blindness.  If we let him in he will heal us and use our story to heal others’ and point them to the savior.