Distractions!

Late last year my husband and I went on a trip and I was reading a book that had a reference of when Jesus walked on water and Peter got out of the boat and also walked on water (Matthew 14:22-33). As I read that chapter in the book, I was convicted to keep my eyes on Jesus. I felt in my spirit God telling me that with him all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) to not get distracted, to take his yoke upon me (Matthew 11:29) because he will direct my steps (proverbs 3:6).

I, like so many, had a 2020 full of new learning curves, stress, sadness and isolation and welcomed the trip with hesitation. I was uncertain if I should go or even if I had the energy to participate in vacation activities. I was not feeling much like going on a vacation! I work in mental health and my caseload was rapidly increasing due to the pandemic and I didn’t think it was a good time to go. But, gratefully my husband was persistent. It was exactly what my soul and spirit needed. I was not only physically tired before going, I was soul tired. I was going through the motions of life but I was not living life. God spoke to me on that trip and began to heal that soul tiredness, not all at once but throughout these last few months he has given me a renewed strength to be obedient to the call he has placed on my life.

Recently, a few distractions began to creep in. I am an enneagram 8 which is known as the protector and the challenger. By nature I want to control my environment and I can get caught up in controlling that environment and ‘protecting’ others and trying to fix systems and people. When I feel manipulated or controlled by others I want to confront and challenge the system or person that I feel is the problem. I was recently told to mind my business and that it is not my job to be distracted by every perceived slight from others, it is my job to stay focused on Jesus and allow him to sort everything out. He will lead me and guide me and direct my path and he can change a broken system or challenge a heart that needs to be changed if it is his will.

I am a work in progress, I am thankful for correction today because I do not want to allow resentment and bitterness to creep in and take root because I know from experience that is when I get soul tired. I will fix my eyes on Jesus and will have faith that he will work all things out. I will run the race he has assigned me with endurance and perseverance!