Therapy Thursday: Options are power

Therapy Thursday: Options are power

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Romans 12:2 NIV

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.



Hey yal (you are loved)!  I’m still getting used to that opening; I forgot to address you all the last post! I will continue to work on that.  One of my greatest assets and greatest defect is the fact that I think fast, talk fast and act fast.  I hope you can see how that can be both a blessing and a curse!  This leads me back to my last post where I promised you all a Therapy Thursday post on choices.  I titled this post as Options are power because I want to focus on how we can control our emotions within a crisis, chaos, storm- whatever vocabulary you use to describe situations that usually have you reacting irrationally instead of acting rational.

We have all acted in ways that we are not proud of and lost our cool because of not knowing how to respond in certain situations.  Or how about when we feel attacked for behaviors we have or attitudes we  possess.  In my therapy practice I often remind myself and my clients that their behaviors or problems that brought them in for therapy are really their solutions to a deeper rooted problem.  When we both start to focus our mindset on that fact, it changes our perspective.  We perceive the behavior as what it is- the best option we have in the moment for the real issue.  What is the real issue? The whole mission statement of why I do what I do- healing through painful memories, emotions and past experiences.  Those situations, that when we think of them, brings us shame and sadness and grief and anger, sometimes all at once.  Or, maybe those situations that you can’t even bear the thought of remembering.  Anyhow, our behaviors are usually guided by our core beliefs.  If I believe I am worthy and lovable I will behave in worthy and lovable ways.  The converse of that is if I don’t believe I am worthy and lovable I will constantly be hustling for my worth, feeling overwhelmed and anxious because I’m striving and then engaging in behaviors that relieve the stress and anxiety for a moment but then probably lead to shame and more anxiety and stress.

What are we to do?

  1. recognize that what you think is your problem is really your solution to the deeper problem- your  negative core belief/ beliefs
  2. recognize that you are just trying to figure out how to ‘get over, not remember, avoid’ painful memories, emotions and past experiences. I believe Albert Einstein said “spend 95% of your time identifying the problem and then you’ll only need 5% of the time for the solution.
  3. know the promises of God! some that are coming to mind as I type are “you are the righteousness of Christ, you are the head and not the tail, you lend to many nations and borrow from none, you will be blessed and your children will be blessed and your children’s children will be blessed for 1000 generations, the very breath of God lives in us empowering us to do the impossible through Christ!

Yal- that comes out of me because it has been placed in me! by reading, by speaking it into my soul even when I did not believe it! We can have the mind of Christ and the faith of God to love wholly and completely (1 Corinthians 2:5-6)- first to love our God with all our heart, mind and strength and second to love ourselves unconditionally and with grace and mercy, so that we can love our neighbor as ourselves- unconditionally, to give grace and mercy lavishly without harm to our character and integrity! yes that sounds impossible, but what if we COULD do that?

Lord, we love you and are simply in awe of your awesomeness, might and power.  we marvel at how you invite us to join in the work of Jesus Christ, in reconciling a lost and dying world to the love that you want to lavish on us! you love us with an everlasting love and provided a way for us to live eternally with you and to not fear sin, death and the grave because Jesus conquered it, and then ascended to send us the Holy Spirit- your very breath to lead, guide. direct and empower us to live out the fulfilment of the law- which was broken down to 2 commands- love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength and love your neighbor as our self! Help us to feel your love so completely and fully that we love others joyfully, patiently, gently, kindly, faithfully and good utilizing self control to not want our own way but to want what God ‘s will is! In Jesus name, Amen

"Thank you for telling me what I needed to hear and not what I wanted to hear; and doing it in the most loving and stern way I've ever seen!"
- Amanda I.

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